4o+ days of Lent

I can’t say that I have ever participated in Lent before. I have certainly fasted, but not necessarily within the bounds of the 40-day season leading up to Easter. I have taken part in a few media fasts in my day, I have even gone whole-hog and given up all food for periods of time (I am pretty sure I have never made it more than a week). I have also had dietary restrictions… (but never for Jesus.)

Food and I have an interesting relationship. I go through phases… I can experience everything from complete control of my eating habits to the absence of anything resembling control. Although it may not manifest itself in immense weight gain… I can certainly lose the capacity to make wise choices or curb my cravings for baked goods.

Self-control is a fruit of the spirit. It is a pretty vital aspect of health, and spiritual growth. After realizing that my newfound access to a well-equipped kitchen and the ability (long denied me) to bake all kinds of goodies, I realized that my cravings for sugary desserts and sweet carbohydrates had gotten just beyond my control.

Hence, I have begun my first 40-day Lent-ian adventure into the world of self-denial and (hopefully) control. The list is long (no alcohol, caffeine, white starches, dairy…) and completely doable. I mean I used to eat this way by choice… but only 48 hours in, I must admit that it is harder than I thought it would be. I had become more accustomed to dietary anarchy than I had realized. I have found myself craving things I don’t even like, or haven’t eaten in years… I wanted to tear a bagel out of a friend’s hand… I really want the spaghetti served at a random restaurant back home that closed more than 5 years ago… Oh, and sopapias… I forgot they existed.

Anyway, I refuse to indulge my fat-kid mentality by dwelling on my illogical cravings any longer. Instead, I will focus on the happy thought of hummus, at least it is still allowed.

The truth is, I already feel better. AND, I am sure a few more days in and I won’t believe that I had fallen so far of the self-control bandwagon.

The hardest part will be the lack of cheese… oh, how I love thee.

So, in the vein of spiritual discipline, I am supplementing my denial with an addition, or maybe just the attempt to regulate what I already do. I have become slack at (prayer) journal writing and such, and I desire to make it a daily practice yet again.

So this Lent I hope to come out the other end a slightly improved version of myself. We will see how that works…

Either way, at the end, my first meal is going to be a Flaming Amy’s burrito. No joke.