You Can Do It

I just finished registration for the fall semester. I am happy to report I was able to get into all of my first choice classes. I will spend the majority of my semester focusing on African conflicts and politics... couldn't ask for much better than that.

Day 1 on grad school.... I looked around the class. Those in their first semester had been asked to raise their hands... a method of singling us out in some sort of sick game to make the first day even more awkward and intimidating than it already was. I gave a longing glance at my neighbor. A dark-haired professional looking female, appearing to be in her mid twenties. She seemed to have it all together, large notebook opened and highlighters posied, she just seemed comfortable here. I felt like a pony at the rodeo. It was her second year. It was like 4th grade all over again, staring at the middle schoolers... thinking how much bigger and more mature they seemed, wondering if I would ever make it to 6th grade, or get boobs.

Somehow, it appears I have almost completed my first year. As I consider my second, I laugh at the ridiculous impression I started grad school with. That girl? Turns out she is just as lost in my ethics class as me. Turns out she hates her job and she gets pimples too. So HA!

Umm, well... it also seems that grad school is only as hard as you make it for yourself. It turns out that schooling can actually be about learning and not about getting a grade. The grad school grading curve gives you a choice... you can either take it seriously, get your moneys worth and try and learn something... or you can hobble through in a state on numbness turning in half-hearted assignments. (this semester I chose the later path, but I am hoping to upgrade.) The truth is, either way you will probably get the same grade.

Day 1 of second semester? I plan on making eye contact with that brand new anxious, over-achiever... I may even pat um on the back and say "You deserve to be here. If I can do it, you can do it."

Spring Inspired Office Fever

I have never had such a hard time sitting still. It could have been the 6 hours I had spent planted in front on my computer screen listening to an overly-peppy instructor explain the most tedious and basic tasks of data entry as if we were 4th graders… or it could have been the way the sun came in through my 7th story window enticing me to go outside and enjoy its warmth. It didn’t help that I could make longing glances a lone tree, starting to reveal its lovely cherry blossom blooms amidst the otherwise bland mess of concrete within my view.

Spring carries new meaning in DC. On the coast the only major difference we experienced between winter and spring was very slightly greener grass (more from the increase in rain than the shift in weather) and the occasional azalea bush blossoming for a week before dropping it’s pink blooms onto the ground. The sandy ground only really grows evergreen pine trees and half-dead grass year around.

DC experiencing a drastic transformation where lonely and bare branches are quite suddenly flooded with pastel blossoms ad miraculously the color of the entire city is transformed.

I’m not exaggerating.

Along with the change in color, comes a change in mood. DCers emerge from their homes and cars and start roaming the streets, parks and monuments. BUT only temporarily, for alas… starting this weekend any locals will retreat public places as the city is bombarded with tourists of all types. They stay about a month I am heard, until the cherry blossoms disappear. That’s right… we get approximately 3.5 days to enjoy the onset of spring before we must return to our homes and bunker down until the end of the tourist invasion. Or something like that…
Doesn’t quite seem fair to me.

Regardless, it will be hard to remove the joy of spring as even the simplest task… commuting, grocery shopping, gazing out your office window… all will be enhanced by the multitude of cherry blossom trees so nicely disbursed throughout the city…. Even in the areas tourist don’t venture. We may only have a few, but we cherish every one.

Providence?

There has been a lot of talk of providence recently. Sometimes life lines right up in a way we would never expect and we can see how we have been guided to this point.

That's it... I mean, everything that happens to us DOES bring us where we are, to WHO we are.

It's almost like a giant puzzle. One day we get a new piece put in place and we see a bit more of the big picture.

Sometimes I dwell on the future for just a minute longer than I should and I wonder, what the image will look like in a year, or five.

Later Life of Leisure

I took the plunge a few months back... from full-time employee to full-time student. It was quite an adjustment. I went from the one with no free time, to having more than I knew what to do with. But, of course... it wasn't long until I found ways to fill my days. Now I am completely accustomed to leisurely weekdays. I have even learned how to sleep in and how to completely waste time... random trips to target, spontaneous baking... you name it. Unfortunately, that makes it harder to transition back into the work world. Now, I will be a full-time employee AND a full-time student.... hmmm, I wonder how this is going to work out?

The good news is I will not have a heavy school load until the fall and I am only working 6 hours per day in the office. So, there is no reason I can not handle this... right? I mean people do this all the time, even people with families to care for!

Yesterday was my last weekday of freedom. I checked everything off of my to do list... my taxes, an oil change, a doctors appointment, etc. When exactly am I going to get this stuff done from now on, I am not sure. But somehow, I think I will manage.

I am actually looking forward to regaining some productivity. I am a highly efficient person who has fallen prey to some laziness with all of this free time. I am especially looking forward to having a steady paycheck once more.

I have kind of been prepping for the transition for the last few weeks... making less commitments, kinda scaling back on my social calendar. Didn't want to shock my system. We will see how that worked out for me. heh.

DreamLife

I am known for having strangely detailed, vivid and bizarre dreams. Like the time I dreamed about my entire future from each of my five kids career paths to the way I decorated my retirement home on the waterfront in downtown Wilmington. Yea, that detailed.

My dreams are very inconsistent though... I have vague and foggy ones as well. It's a mixed bag really. What I don't often have is "bad" dreams. Or anything really negative even. I had a nightmare once, when I was around the age of 12 and all it really involved was a fall into a never ending black hole... I have avoided watching Zorro every since (don't ask). I have had a few dreams where I am being chased, but it never seems like the situation is that serious as I usually find myself a nice cozy corner to crouch in, or a cabinet to crawl in to, and I am happy. (Hmmmm....what does that mean?)

But what I had night before last (Tuesday, early morning actually), was a new thing entirely. I have had friends who have dreams effected by their physical body, for example a friend who would dream she only had one leg if she fell asleep with her legs crossed. But I have rarely heard of people's bodies being effected by their dreams. But maybe, I am just sheltered.

In my dream I received such bad news that it physically hurt, so much in fact that it woke me up and until I realized it wasn't reality, I continued to feel the pain. It would be one thing if it had been a physical injury... but it was an emotional pain. Strange, huh?

What was even stranger was the way it effected me. It wasn't necessarily on my mind throughout the day, but my mood was certainly altered. Melancholy... sensitive... emotionally unstable...

I mean, it was just a dream. But something about it seemed so real. It FELT so real. It makes you wonder, how much of our dreams is really based on reality or at least a possible reality? How much of our dreams stem from our hopes and fears? I tend to think they are random... and if you had my dreams, you probably would as well... but sometimes I have to really question it.

Anyway, in the future I will try not to let dreams control my mood. Somehow, I don't think it's healthy... or fair to the people around me who have to put up with it.

SNOW DAY

Yesterday we awoke to a wonderful 6' blanket of snow... adventures ensued: http://www.vimeo.com/3449537

Unfortunately, I was suffering from some minor frostbite that kept me from fully participating. Instead I spent 90% of the time rotating my ankles and wiggling my toes on alternate feet to maintain feeling in my lower exterminates. Regardless, it was quite enjoyable. :)

Here's a link to the Facebook album as well: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2005796&id=108800682&l=81c46